Nearly a month after Indian cinema lost one of its most loved legends, the grief around his passing continues to linger. As the industry and fans come to terms with the loss, conversations around family, dignity and silence have also surfaced. In this sensitive phase, author and columnist Shobha De has spoken openly about how Hema Malini – Dharmendra’s second wife, was reportedly sidelined during key moments and why her response deserves respect.
The veteran actor passed away on November 24, 2025, following age-related medical complications. He is survived by his first wife Prakash Kaur, second wife Hema Malini and children including Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol, Esha Deol, Aahana Deol and others.
Two Prayer Meets, Two Paths
Soon after his passing, Dharmendra’s first family reportedly organized a private prayer meet in Mumbai on November 27, attended by close family members and friends from the film industry. Reports suggested that Hema Malini and her daughters were not invited to this gathering.
Days later after Dharmendra’s 90th birthday Hema Malini hosted a separate prayer meet in Delhi with her daughters attended by several prominent political leaders. The two events quietly reflected the long-rumoured distance between the two families.
Shobha De Calls It “Painful” and “Unfair”
In a recent interview with Barkha Dutt, Shobha De spoke candidly about the situation and expressed empathy for Hema Malini. She said, “Must have been a particularly difficult and hard decision… To be totally left out by the first family from something that she had spent 45 years of her own life… Nourishing, cherishing, which had enriched her life. She had two daughters from this marriage. It must have hurt terribly, but she kept all that for her own privacy. However she wished to deal with it and when she did have a public function, I thought she conducted it with utmost dignity, not just for herself but for the person she had lost.”
Choosing Dignity Over Display
Shobha De further praised Hema Malini’s restraint and strength, saying she could have easily chosen a different route, “Given the fact that Hema is a towering personality herself, the idea that she chose dignity over making a public display of one-upmanship, I think, says a lot about her character.”
She added, “She could so easily have, in a way, it’s not a nice word but, hijacked those emotional moments right after Dharam ji passed away. The media would have loved to cover every tear and every gasp that she may have taken and intruded into her privacy and completely stripped her of the dignity that obviously matters so much to her.”
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Addressing the larger family structure, Shobha De said, “He had two parallel families. A primary family and her, but at no point had either of them disengaged or disowned one another as husband and wife. So I think she chose well, she chose like Hema Malini!”
Over the years, speculation has surrounded why the two families were rarely seen together. However, no official statement has ever clarified the reality behind this visible distance, making silence the only constant.
In moments of loss, reactions reveal character. While the absence of unity raised questions, Hema Malini’s choice to grieve Dharmendra with grace stood out. As Shobha De rightly pointed out, dignity sometimes speaks louder than protest and this time, it did.
source https://lehren.com/hema-malini-left-out-by-dharmendras-first-family-sunny-deol-prakash-kaur-claims-shobha-de/
